Sometimes I talked to your mother about stupid bullshit.

It doesn't just seem crass to say that this blog attempts to keep things high-minded, it is crass. We don't. We're not intelligent (If we were, I would not be posting my first blog in a couple of weeks on exam weekend or writing complete sentences between parentheses). We are not enlightened or spiritually uplifted. We are blatantly crass, boorish idiots. But at least we haven't descended to artistic criticism...yet.

Or have we?

I will today. This surely spells the end of our golden age of originality, but I think we'll try to keep it a.) to one review a week, b.) amusing, and c.) brief (I am an idiot). Did you see what I did in that last sentence (I am an idiot)? No, not the aside in parentheses, the comma between "amusing" and "and" (I am an idiot). That's what's called an "oxford comma," and that's also the title of a track off New York band Vampire Weekend's self-titled debut album (I am an idiot). I imagine I look like a shameless tool for picking that one to review, since it's (I think) all the rage in the "blogosphere," but the record has a quality to it that I like--unambitiousness (I am an idiot). What I like about it is that it is limited, either by design or by dint of trying to be too damn cute (I am an idiot). The songs are superbly crafted musically and their lyrics are extremely clever, but both are quite easily conquered, and therefore the record is a tool of meaning rather than an agent of meaning (I am an idiot).

"Oxford Comma" is a typical, if superb, example (I am extremely stupid). It exemplifies Vampire Weekend's particular timbre--consciously African-sounding pop accented by melodies and vocals you would expect to find in the score for a vaguely sappy old film set in Paris (I am extremely stupid). And lyrically, it is also typical--consciously clever and glaringly subtle (I am extremely stupid). There is a craft and graft aplenty in the business of making it seem as if these meticulous melodies are off-the-cuff and this intricate wordplay seem to arise from casuality (I am extremely stupid). And yet, it's all the more likable for this unforgivable smugness (I am extremely stupid). I mean, Vampire Weekend are essentially the Michael Bolton look-alike that Matt Damon's character asks about apples in Good Will Hunting, smug, well-read Ivy League brats who thinks they are God's gift (I am extremely stupid). But they're smug, Ivy League assholes who said to themselves, hey, if we try, we can make a smart, nice-sounding record, and that's what they did (I am extremely stupid).

The one exception to that overriding rule, sonically, is "A-Punk," the third track and noticeably anomalous in that it is played at the overcaffeinated tempo seemingly demanded by the modern big indie single ("Rough Gem," "Dashboard," "+81") (I am an idiot). It is also the only song on the record with inscrutable vocals (I am an idiot). Not coincidentally, this is the song the band played when they went on David Letterman (I am an idiot). I guess that makes them transparent again--they're gunning for a wider audience (I am an idiot). It'll sell C.D.s, but we shouldn't begrudge it that (I am an idiot). It's not like it's shifting a bad product, after all (I am an idiot).


Vampire Weekend is this guy.