You're probably asking now how I am going to know what you think about it if it is the first line of a three-to-four paragraph blog I am typing. Or at least that's what I would be asking, but I can't know for sure what you're asking since I typed this before you even read it.
Except that, though you may not know this about me, I have an intuitive sense for what you're thinking. And what you're probably thinking about walrus porn is: where can I get some of that?
Let me clarify, although since I know you already know what I am thinking, there is no real reason for me to attempt to clarify anything. But, just so that my exact meaning can be recorded safely, I don't mean "walrus porn" as in the first result on google, which is "walrus butt forum." I don't really know what that is. I don't want or need to know. It's not what I am after.
What I am after is explicit photography and video of tusked pinnipeds. But there is a maddening lack of good odobenid erotica out there. Someone needs to rise up and fill the void that leaves in all our hearts. I know what you're saying (that pretty much goes without saying I guess). It's "Eleanor, why don't you do it?" Well, I'll do my part, you have no reason to doubt that. I promise to photograph any walrus sex I see in the next two months, although since I'm spending them in Hawai'i, I don't know how much that promise is worth.
So it falls to you, readers. I don't even need to tell you what. I can state, though, that it's definately not photographing walrus sex. That's a job for a professional. But you know what I mean. Just to insult your intelligence, here's a clue:
in the next installment: why Shakespeare was a money launderer...and you should be too.
-Eleanor
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