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William Shakespeare is fondly remembered as the greatest writer ever to use the English language, author of masterpieces such as Julius Caesar, Hamlet, Macbeth, and Romeo & Juliet. But there is also a darker side to Shakespeare. I don't mean his homosexuality. He was gay. Who cares?

Instead, I'm referring to the true dark side of Shakespeare. Prepare yourself for a frightening exposee. Are you braced? Are you ready? Have you steadied yourself to be buffetted by massive winds of truth? Are you certain they won't blow you away? Can you really be certain that you will maintain your footing? And if you do blow away, where will you go? Are you prepared for the terrors that await you miles downwind?

Don't you think it would be a good idea to tie yourself down? Good, that's better. Now wear a warm coat because they'll probably be cold winds. No, not that one. You'll need one that's a bit more weather-resistant, since there's going to be rain involved, too. Maybe. Don't take that tone with me. I have your best interests in mind. Anyway, are you sure you're ready?

Here it is: William Shakespeare embezzled and laundered money. From the Globe Theatre. From the British government. From you and me today. Let that one sink in. I am prohibited by court order from telling you how because he did it so ingeniously, in such a foolproof manner, that he is still reaping the rewards of his crimes four hundred years after his death. Not only that, but it is the source of much of his literary reputation. Would anyone really read A Midsummer Night's Dream if not for the massive wads of cash its author stole from Mahatma Gandhi? I thought not.

And if you really want to know how Shakespeare did it, here's a clue:


Next week's blog: What is to be done about the similarity of the words "next" and "newt"

-Eleanor