I can't be bothered to segue into this topic. I won't waste time beginning with the turning of the key in the ignition of my mind, the accumulation of gears before my engine finally reaches its top speed and the discussion gets to its most exciting. This film doesn't begin with the trash-talking before the race or the dropping of the checkered flag. It starts one hundred yards from the finish line with the cars neck-and-neck.
I know what you're thinking: movies about auto racing are kind of lame. I would beg to differ. Even if no other films in the racing genre had been remotely worthwhile, it still produced the true classic Herbie: Fully Loaded. Those who have no time for Lindsay Lohan's heart-stopping acting career have obviously never seen her best work.
But who, seriously, wants to talk about Lindsay Lohan? I had something important to talk about and I blame you entirely for leading me astray. Well...not entirely. I guess it's more like a massive reader-Lohan conspiracy. But there you go getting me off-topic again.
The topic is: octopi. It has recently come to my attention that octopi have eight tentacles. That's mind-bendingly unfair on people like me who have only one or possibly no tentacles. Write your congressperson and tell them that there needs to be something done when such a small portion of the population has a monopoly on the tentacles. I know it can be daunting to go up against the powerful mollusk lobby, but I have done it before and won.
And no, I'm not going to explain that. You'll have to do a bit of your own research, but as a hint, here is a graphic in really good taste:
I know what you're thinking: movies about auto racing are kind of lame. I would beg to differ. Even if no other films in the racing genre had been remotely worthwhile, it still produced the true classic Herbie: Fully Loaded. Those who have no time for Lindsay Lohan's heart-stopping acting career have obviously never seen her best work.
But who, seriously, wants to talk about Lindsay Lohan? I had something important to talk about and I blame you entirely for leading me astray. Well...not entirely. I guess it's more like a massive reader-Lohan conspiracy. But there you go getting me off-topic again.
The topic is: octopi. It has recently come to my attention that octopi have eight tentacles. That's mind-bendingly unfair on people like me who have only one or possibly no tentacles. Write your congressperson and tell them that there needs to be something done when such a small portion of the population has a monopoly on the tentacles. I know it can be daunting to go up against the powerful mollusk lobby, but I have done it before and won.
And no, I'm not going to explain that. You'll have to do a bit of your own research, but as a hint, here is a graphic in really good taste:
-Eleanor
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