Yes, the time with your mother was excellent. Normally that would have been the highlight of my week. However, the massive poop I took the next day made that night with your mother forgettable.
So allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Jake. You may think it odd to say "pinching a smurf" is better than sex. I didn't say that. You wrongfully inferred it. What I said was that "taking the Cleveland Browns to the Superbowl" was better than that time with your mother. Yes I had a stressful week. Yes it had been a while. But I was also very backed up.
You see, part of the reason I enjoy the act of scatting so much is that I think I am at my best while in the act. I often have my best thoughts while on the toliet. So it is very conceivable (as in, I would have sex with this thought's mother in order to make her pregnant with it) that I came up with the idea for this post while on the toliet. In fact, count on it.
The are varying degrees on my bodily functions. If I am constipated, my creativity is probably at a 1 out of 10, and I am not enjoying myself. However, if I have just eaten some raw meat that has salmonella, and to go with that I'm sick with the flu (shakes, sweating, all that) and what is coming out of my rectum can only be described as "butt piss," then am not just enjoying myself, but I am also thinking about what to write for the next blog.
So I realize this probably wasn't a good time to discuss the politics of my shit, but when isn't it a good time to hop on the Night Train?
So allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Jake. You may think it odd to say "pinching a smurf" is better than sex. I didn't say that. You wrongfully inferred it. What I said was that "taking the Cleveland Browns to the Superbowl" was better than that time with your mother. Yes I had a stressful week. Yes it had been a while. But I was also very backed up.
You see, part of the reason I enjoy the act of scatting so much is that I think I am at my best while in the act. I often have my best thoughts while on the toliet. So it is very conceivable (as in, I would have sex with this thought's mother in order to make her pregnant with it) that I came up with the idea for this post while on the toliet. In fact, count on it.
The are varying degrees on my bodily functions. If I am constipated, my creativity is probably at a 1 out of 10, and I am not enjoying myself. However, if I have just eaten some raw meat that has salmonella, and to go with that I'm sick with the flu (shakes, sweating, all that) and what is coming out of my rectum can only be described as "butt piss," then am not just enjoying myself, but I am also thinking about what to write for the next blog.
So I realize this probably wasn't a good time to discuss the politics of my shit, but when isn't it a good time to hop on the Night Train?
-Jake
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