Your Mother has a Huge Panis!

Your mother's Panis is huge! Deal with it.

I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Literally.

So now I would like to shamelessly discuss my life. I was on a trip to large city, and deicided to look for work. There was a nice opportunity for me to work at a local bakery, which only pays a stipend. Turns out, when you recieve a stipend, hours are no longer of importance, so basically, if I was payed hourly, I would be considered a "sweat-shop worker." This would make my father happy, and outrage everyone else in the world (middle-to-upper class people in the United States who will never actually do anything about it themselves). So instead of presenting accurate detailed information, I will give what is affectionately called "its not you, its me." To oversimplify, something that might not be 100% accurate-but close.

So I live in paradise, middle-america, (Springfield oregon). I have 2 children, both of whom are lovely. I have a beautiful wife who I am madly in love with. I also have a dog. However, in my world, it is actually a Karlien Bear Dog, trained to only know my family, so if the Joneses' little boy Danny walks over ("what a cute little tyk") and wants to pet Snuffles (my dog's name (not really)), Snuffles will treat Danny like a giant brown bear casually patroling the former U.S.S.R's territory and proceed to rip his head off and then devour his soul, then breathing out fire and tourching the whole neighborhood, burning everything and leaving no survivors. When I say don't pet the dog, I really mean it.

But something I hope is not really meant is the concept of never. We learn from mistakes, but I will never say, "I will not get another Karliean bear dog." I didn't say never.

Think of the upsides! I haven't.
But what I have thought of is this...

-Jake